The Final Days

I know so many girls who are just weeks away from giving birth so this post is in honor of them!

My sister-in-law, Allie and her husband Kevin, are about to have their second child, Oliver. I cannot wait to meet our new nephew and am so excited for them. I have been keeping my phone on by the bed at night just incase we get "the call" and we need to head to Louisville. I hope it's not in the middle of the night so that we can make it, but don't be surprised if I leave my husband and 2 boys behind and head to Louisville by myself. Heck...Allie's first delivery was so fast, I could probably make it there and back by the time they wake up. :-)

Thinking about those last weeks before the baby arrives made me think of writing a post about it. Every pregnancy is different, but most women I know are ready for it to be over by the time they reach the last month and I know I was one of them! Here is what I wish someone had told me when I was at the end of my pregnancy....

Uncomfortable in every way
With both of my pregnancies I started to swell the last month, had lower back pain, up all night going to the bathroom, and just all around uncomfortable. With my first, Eli, I was on my feet all day at school and I remember coming home and crying to Ryan about how much my feet hurt. I remember them just throbbing. With my second, Miles, I wasn't on my feet as much, but I was busy chasing around an 18 month hold and carrying him up and down the stairs. I remember it being so hard to get up off the playroom floor to play with Eli, and I yearned for the days where I could just hop right off the floor. So hang in there...you're not alone!

Enjoyment
With our first, I remember wanting the pregnancy to be over so we could find out if we were having a son or daughter. I couldn't wait to find out the surprise, and everyday, I would pray that he would make his arrival. I remember other parents telling me to not wish the days away as soon we'd be in a whole new life, and I remember it always bugging me. Now that I have 2 children of my own I find myself telling my pregnant friends the same thing. I understand how much you want to meet your child. There is nothing like it. I understand how uncomfortable you are and not being able to sleep at night. But, now I know what others meant by it never being the same. I love being a Mother more than anything, but there are days where I think about the time where it was just Ryan and I. If we wanted to go out and get a bite to eat at 8:00 or just go somewhere on a whim, we could. We didn't have to worry about bedtimes, diaper bags, feeding schedules, etc. The years we spent just the two of us were so special, and although I love being parents, I understand what others meant by "enjoying" the last few weeks of life without children. So if you're reading this and about to give birth...try to enjoy these last weeks you have with your spouse, just the two of you. Go to a movie...go out to eat...sleep in (if possible)...or just spend time doing your favorite things. Try to remember that you are going to be a parent in just a few weeks...this is a fact! Enjoy the time you have when you have no responsibility for other than yourself, because the funny thing is, when you do go on a date night after baby arrives, even though you're alone...you are always thinking about your baby! And if you're reading this and already have a child at home or two or three, enjoy this time with your family being how it is. I treasured those last week with just Eli and us as I knew it would never be just the 3 of us again.

Your Doctor
Nobody knows when your baby is going to make their appearance other than God up above. (well...unless you're having a c-section). Even though you have a due date, this is an "estimated due date." Your son or daughter will be the one who decides when they are finished cooking and ready to make their appearance into this world. Your doctor might say to you "any day now," or even "it doesn't look like he's ready to come out yet," but the funny thing is that not even your Doctor knows. With both of mine I remember getting so excited every time I would go to the weekly appointment. I would wonder the entire week if I had dialated any or if the baby had dropped. Then I would go to the Doctor and he'd report that I was still at 1, or with Miles' case I stayed at 2 cm for 3 weeks. With both of mine, I was told by the Doctor that the baby was still high and he didn't feel as if it would be on time. But, guess what? He was wrong. Your water can break at any moment. You can be 0 cm in the morning at the appointment and just a few hours later can start having contractions. We have NO control over this. No matter what you do, you do not have control over the date of your baby's birth. I remember walking around the neighborhood like crazy, doing jumping jacks, scooter rides, etc, just to get the baby moving on out. None of that helped. They will come when they are ready, so save all of that energy for the delivery! You're going to need it! :-)

Group B
In your 38th week, your doctor will perform a test for what is called Group B Strep or GBS. GBS is a bacteria infection and is fully treatable with antibiotics. All that will have to be done is that when you do go into labor, you will need to go in immediately and be put on an IV that will have an antibiotic running through it. The longer you are on this, the better chance you have of your baby being born perfectly healthy. My Doctor did not make a big deal about this when I tested positive (both times) so I was never worried. I have seen it talked about on shows as such as The Baby Story on TLC and they act like it is a major thing. (I am fully aware that it can lead to serious risks, but with antibiotics, it is 100% curable. ) What I'm saying is that if you test positive as well, don't freak out! I promise it is okay!
Here is some more information on GBS, if you're interested: http://www.americanpregnancy.org/pregnancycomplications/groupbstrepinfection.html


Wedding Day
I kind of compare the "birth day" to your wedding day. Obviously you are not all dolled up and you're in quite of bit more pain, but the feeling of excitement, joy, love, and anticipation is still there. You plan and plan for both events and wait for the day to arrive, and when it does, you are full of so many emotions. I loved being surrounded by my close family all waiting for Baby H to make their appearance. I love meeting my nurse and building a relationship with her for the day (or two). Your nurse is VERY important. Your Dr. will only show up at the end when the baby is almost out, so it is important to love your nurse and befriend her. Get on her good side! I love the moment when all the hard work has paid off and they place that sweet baby in your arms. There is nothing in the world that compares to seeing your child for the first time and knowing that they are yours, and then before you know it, you are back home with your baby, and the delivery day is just a memory. Make sure you document the day well...even if you don't feel like it now. You will want to watch the day over and over again.



If you're under the 4 week mark, make sure you have your hospital bag packed and ready to go. You might go early and you do not want to be running around like crazy trying to remember what to take with you. If you need some help, check out my post here on what to pack.

Good luck and remember...try to enjoy!!

The Birth Plan

What kind of birthing experience do you want? Do you plan on giving birth at a birthing center with a doula and midwife? Do you plan on giving birth at home? Do you want to deliver at a hospital? Do you want an epidural or do you plan on a drug free birth?  What about a water birth? Who do you want in the delivery room with you? These are all important questions you need to think about before giving birth.

If you already have an OBGYN then you will most likely have to go where they deliver. If you would like to use a midwife or doula, ask around in your community for what your options are. Not every city has a birthing center, but you can have your midwife or doula with you at the hospital.

There are a lot of options out there and it is important that you are well educated on all of them.  This is YOUR birth…not your doctors. Just because your doctor tells you something, does not always mean you have to do it that way. Ask questions. Find answers. Have a plan!

As important as it is to have a birth plan, it is equally important to remember that there can be unforeseen complications, and the birth plan you put so much thought and work into, can go out the window in seconds!!

Let me share my birth experiences:

With Eli I knew that we would give birth at a hospital and that I wanted an epidural.  I consider myself a pretty strong and tough person, but I was fully aware that giving birth to a child was going to hurt. My personal opinion was why go through all of that pain when the doctors can relieve some of it without affecting the baby?  So when my water broke and we arrived at the hospital and the nurse asked, “Do you plan on getting an epidural? “ I did not hesitate to say YES! The epidural did not hurt at all. The anesthesiologist described it as a bee sting, which is exactly what it felt like. It did not take long at all and was not a big deal. Was I nervous? You better believe it, but I knew that it was going to help BIG time, and that it did!! People who haven't had a baby or who have gone natural always ask "did it hurt?" And I always say that getting the epidural was by far the easiest part of the whole process! 

Because I had tested positive for group b strep (GBS), I had to go to the hospital as soon as my water broke. I would have liked to labor at home longer, but that was not possible. With GBS, you have to be put on an antibiotic right away. The longer you receive the antibiotic, the better chance your baby has of being born healthy.  I was 3 cm when I was checked in triage and dilated another cm within an hour I was there, so they admitted me (around 9:00 pm). I was progressing as normal and at 7 am was 8 cm.  When I was checked again at 10 am, I was still at 8 so they administered some pitocin. (Pitocin is a drug given though an IV to increase contractions.) Pitocin is not your best friend like the epidural is. Pitocin can bring on the contractions FAST and STRONG and H.U.R.T! After a few more hours I was at 10 cm and ready to push. This is where I wish I would have known to ask if the baby was low enough to start pushing. It wasn’t like on tv or in the movies and I was feeling a “need” to push the baby out. Just because I was finally at 10 cm, didn’t necessarily mean my body was ready to delivery the baby. (mistake #1)
The nurse raised my bed almost as high as the ceiling and explained what to do. I was ready… let’s get this baby out! After 2 hours of pushing, the baby was still not close to being delivered. My doctor was not on call and therefore I had another doctor coming in to check on me. She would check to see how things were progressing and then mumble something to the nurse and then leave. The nurse would have me start pushing all over again. I wish I would have known to ask the nurse if I could change positions. (mistake #2) Instead of being on my back, could I turn on my side? What about holding on to something to help push? I remained in the same position the entire time I pushed and I believe that I could have done better if I had been moved. Finally, my doctor arrived, and did not bring the news I wanted. I had been pushing just over 3 hours when he walked in and said that he didn’t think I was going to be able to deliver this baby on my own. It was looking like a c-section. I wish I would have known to ask more questions at this point. (mistake #3) Truthfully, I was exhausted beyond words and did not feel as if I had any strength left in my body. I said “okay” and away to the OR we went. As I was sobbing away, I kept thinking, “This was not how I imagined the birth of our first child to go at all!” In the end, a healthy baby boy was delivered, and even though he had the biggest cone head ever (for being lodged in my pelvis for 3.5 hours) he was still perfect in every way. Did I forget about the whole experience in that second? Heck, no! Would I do it all over again just to have a baby, you better believe it!

With Miles, I knew I wanted to attempt a V-BAC (vaginal birth after cesarean). I researched and researched and knew that it was a safe option because I had fully dilated with Eli.  I also asked my doctor a million questions and knew that my chance of uterine rupture was less than 1%. Many years ago, v-bacs were considered risky, but today, v-bacs are considered safer than a repeat c-section. Near the end of my pregnancy though I could sense my doctors attitude changing. Around week 38, he said he didn’t feel like my chances of having a successful vbac were very high. Why, I asked. His response was because the baby hadn’t dropped. I left that appointment very disappointed, but when I started talking to other women and researching online, the baby doesn’t usually drop until right before birth. So the next week, when he said the same thing, I asked him. He said that he feared I would be going through the same ordeal as with Eli and didn’t want me to endure the same pain. This fear made me agree to schedule a c-section. He wanted to schedule it at week 39, but I didn’t want to, so we came to a compromise. We scheduled the c-section for a few days after my due date. If the baby came before, I would labor on my own. If he didn’t then we would do the planned c-section. I prayed and prayed and thankfully, 1 day before my due date, my water broke!

With this birth, I had again tested positive for group B so we had to head to the hospital early on. When I arrived I was 5 cm and scared to death if I was going to be able to push him out. I did not want to have a repeat experience of last time!  I had to sign some consent forms and the doctor on call (in triage) did some type of test (more like questionnaire) which gave me results of having a 60% successful vbac. I had read online that if you received an epidural too early that it could stall labor, and I did not want to have a repeat of delivery #1. The nurse in triage told me that it would on stall it, if any, by 30 minutes. After I was admitted and taken to the delivery room, my contractions were getting really, really strong. I asked to walk around, but because I had the IV in me, hospital policy will not allow a laboring patient to walk around. I could hear my sister in laws voice inside saying “walk, walk, walk…get that baby moving!” I asked if I could speak with the anesthesiologist and about 20 minutes later she arrived. (Good choice #1) In speaking with her, she informed me the same thing the nurse did, in that it would only stall labor by 30 minutes, and in fact, since I was attempting a vbac, she would recommend going ahead and getting the epidural now, in case of an emergency c-section. She went ahead and administered the epidural and finally I had some relief. Next, I met the doctor on call, who later on would become my hero! I fell in love with her seconds after speaking with her, because she was so supportive of my wanting to do a vbac. She asked so many questions about my last experience and could not believe that they let me push for over 3 hours. She said that her limit was 2 hours. (insert angels singing here)

This time I dilated to 10 fairly quick and thankfully, without any pitocin. The Doctor explained that even when I got to 10 cm, she was not going to have me start pushing because she wanted the baby to naturally lower himself. (HELLO!!! THANK YOU!!) She said to me “Why would I have you do all that work and waste all of that energy, when your body can do it naturally?” (Good choice #2)  After several hours, the nurse said it was time, and she set everything up. This nurse had much more experience than my nurse with Eli and immediately had me changing positions every half hour or so. She would ask my input along the way. This time around, I was not afraid to speak up. (Good choice #3) If the position didn’t feel like it was working, I would tell her and we would find one that did. I loved her! After almost 2 hours, I was making good progress, but the baby was not on its way out. The Doctor came in and said she was going to sit with me and stretch my cervix while I pushed. (Good choice #4)

For the next 1.5 hours, this woman, who I’d never met, sat and worked with me. She never left my side and continued to encourage me along the way. Finally, the head was through my pelvis, and I knew I was going to be able to deliver him naturally. Words cannot express how happy I was. Miles was 1 pound larger than Eli. My Dr’s reasoning for me not to be able to deliver Eli was that he was too big. Well, there you go Doc! I was so thankful that I did not give in to my doctor’s wishes and go with a c-section simply because it was what he wanted to do. Sure, it would have been a whole heck of a lot easier and faster, but that wasn’t what I wanted.

I am so thankful that I listened to my body and that I stuck to my guns. I asked questions and didn’t make any quick decisions based on my emotions. I believed in myself and I did it!

I couldn’t and still can’t help but think about how differently my birth could have gone with Eli if I had only known the things I know now. That’s how life goes and I learned a lot of lessons from that experience.

The point is to have a birth plan and to remember that your plan can change within seconds. The most important thing is the end result, which is a healthy baby. If you end up getting an epidural even though you wanted to go natural, you are no less of a woman. Nobody is going to think less of you because you had one. If you end up having to have a c-section even though the thought never crossed your mind that is okay too! Again, just because you didn’t “push” him out, does not make you any less of a woman!

So, be prepared!! Be prepared for ANYTHING!! No two births are exactly the same. Your body has never done anything like this before so neither you nor the medical experts have any idea how your body will respond.  Know what you want, but be flexible. If you have to do something that wasn’t in the plan, but is required to get your baby out healthy, then do it. That’s the beginning of your life as a mom. Making sacrifices!