Getting Out!

I'm not the most social person. I'll admit it. If I'm around a group of people I know and feel comfortable with then I am myself and will talk away, but if I'm around a group that I do not know, I will remain pretty quiet and shy. I've always wished I was more outgoing in that department and that I wasn't so worried about what others think of me. After 2 years of being at home, I decided it was time to step out of the box and join a mom's group. This was a big deal for me. This is a big deal for me. I'm not the type who will join a group without knowing anyone at all, but I knew it was something I was going to have to do in order to start making friends.

Finding a Mom's group is harder than you think. I googled 'mom's group' several times over the last two years and found some pages, but none seemed like a good fit. When I was up nursing Miles in the middle of the night I started reading blogs using my iphone. One night I was reading a blog of someone I knew from high school and clicked on another blog link on the side. The family picture at the top of the blog looked so familiar to me and after some reading, I realized that we attended the same church. As I read past entries I couldn't help but notice how much she referred to her "mom's group," and really wanted to know where I could find a similar group. Our church is small, so even though we might not know everyone by name, we pretty much know faces. I had seen Lindsy several times around church, but had never spoken with her and was unsure of how to approach her. I didn't want her to think I was some stalker...haha. So one night I commented on one of her posts, introducing myself and explaining how I landed on her blog, and asked her about her Mom's group. I was lucky because Lindsy turned out to be one of the sweetest women I've met. She is very outgoing and knows how to make you feel welcomed. She gave me all the info on the mom's group and even the e-mail of the woman in charge. I sent my registration form in and waited anxiously until September, when our first meeting would be. 

Last night I went to bed feeling the same way that you do on your first day of school. Not only was I worried if anyone would talk to me, but I was even more concerned about how the boys would do. I knew Miles would be okay, but Eli has a hard time in large groups and strangers. When we take him to the nursery at church he just cries his heart out. It pulls on your heart as a parent and the whole time I'm at church I'm thinking about poor Eli and if he is okay. I hate that feeling. I woke up extra early this morning to get myself ready and then the boys as we had to be in the car by 8:15. The whole way in I talked to Eli about how he was going to "school" and was going to play with his friends. After locating the right parking lot and building, we found our way to the childcare rooms and dropped off Miles. Eli wrapped his arms tightly around my legs and started to whimper. I was already dreading dropping him off. Miles was happy as can be and I knew I didn't have to worry about him. Eli was ecstatic when we walked out of the room without Miles...thinking he was home free! Next we found Eli's room and after signing him in I showed him all the fun toys. He found a guitar right away and I quickly dashed out of the room. I ended up running into a guy that I graduated HS with and chatted for a few minutes in the hall thinking for sure I'd hear Eli start to cry. To my surprise, I didn't hear anything. I ran down the stairs before things changed (and my guilt took over) and walked into the meeting room. I found the table with my group leader and started chatting away with complete strangers. 

I made sure to introduce myself to everyone who sat down even if they didn't say a word first. I added my thoughts to conversations, and even asked questions to start new ones. We laughed a lot and ate a lot. :-) The women in my group were super nice and we had a lot to talk about since we're all mom's. The 2 hours went quickly and before I knew it, it was time to pick up the boys. When I peeked in on Eli, he was dancing like a money and laughing. He looked so grown up that I almost started to cry. I was so relieved to see him having so much fun and no signs of crying the entire time (like at church). We picked up Miles next and the workers said that he was the happiest baby they'd ever seen. 

I left feeling happy and renewed. It was so nice to have a few hours to myself talking to other women and laughing. I'm excited for the year ahead and know I will be making a lot of new friends. I'm so happy that I stepped outside of my comfort zone as I feel it is crucial in being a successful parent. We spend so much time taking care of others that sometimes we forget it's okay to take some time out for ourselves. 

So if you're like me and a little more shy, suck it up and get out there! Look around on the internet for groups in your area and ask around. Most towns have a MOP's group if nothing else.  Find a group that you will fit into and enjoy. You won't regret it!