The end of the Road

My sweet baby boy, Miles, is just a few weeks from turning the big 1! (tear, tear) I thought the first year went fast with Eli, but that was nothing compared to how fast the first year has gone with Miles. It is so hard for me to even remember him as a newborn. I spent a lot of time yesterday going through his pictures from birth for his upcoming birthday bash, and I found myself holding back the tears. Miles is such a little snuggler and has the sweetest disposition. I hope that he doesn't grow out of our nightly snuggles for a while! Not sure I could take it!

Since Miles is approaching 1, my nursing days are coming to an end. I never thought that I would ever say these words, but I am. I am a little sad to be quitting breast feeding. (I know that some women go beyond 1 year, and that's great...but personally, I think 1 is the perfect age for me to wean.)

Don't get me wrong, there are many reasons I am happy to be moving on', but there are still several reasons it is a little sad! Let me sum it up like this:

Reasons to rejoice at the end of breast-feeding: 

• Wearing a normal bra
• Not having to lift up my shirt 3/4 times a day
• Saying good-bye to the pump! 
• Being able to wear any shirt/dress I want to and not having to think to myself about how I can get easy access to my chest for Miles
• Being able to get up and go running first thing in the morning (not having to pump first or feed)
• Saying good-bye to breast pads!
• When out in public, not having to scope out a place that is hidden so I can feed Miles
• Rushing back home when out (on the rare occasion) so that I can feed Miles

Reasons that I'm a bit sad at the end of breast-feeding:

• I love the bond that it has created between the two of us. I love that he knows me by my smell and knows that I provide most of his nutrition.
• I love our last feeding of the day. I take him upstairs and sit in the dark on the guest bed while he nurses. He holds onto my fingers while I gently rub his sweet head and kiss his lovable cheeks. He falls asleep in my arms and I just hold him there for several minutes before gently moving him to his crib.
• Knowing the my chest will deflate BIG time! (hello...push up bra!) 
• Burning the extra calories every day. Looks like it is time to start exercising again. Maybe I'll have to stop eating ice cream every night as well. (haha...who am I kidding?)

If you've been reading my blog since the beginning, you know my struggles I encountered at the beginning of breast feeding both my boys. I've been talking to my sister-in-law a lot lately, who has a 2 week old, and am reminded of how exhausting those beginning weeks are, both physically and mentally. As much as I love babies and being a Mom, right now I have no desire to start all over again on the breast feeding journey. When I hear her talk about the lack of sleep and latch difficulties, it makes me happy to be where I am on my breast feeding adventure. Saying that, I am a little sad to be ending the journey as it means another baby has gotten bigger and needs his Mama a little less. As the months went on, breast feeding became so easy. Miles was finished feeding within 10 minutes and we'd move on about our day. I have loved this experience with breast feeding, and do look forward to the next one whenever we decide to have baby 3. 

I will probably continue nursing Miles right up to his birthday and then start to wean him in the coming weeks. I have a lot of my milk saved in the freezer so I will use that to help in the weaning process. I hope he tolerates milk since he had some issues in the beginning months with dairy. We shall soon find out. 

If you are a new Mom reading this and having your own struggles with breast-feeding, do not give up! It is worth every second of those sleepless nights and stressful moments of figuring out why they won't latch, etc. If you need help, CALL someone! Call a lactation consultant and take your baby in so they can watch you nurse. I never thought that I would actually enjoy breast-feeding, but it ends up that I did!