Baby Boot Camp

I'm not sure how I came across the blog called "Sunny Side Up", but I did, and wanted to share for any new Mom's out there or Mom's to be. I have no idea who this woman is, but I agree with her 100% on the topic of training your baby to sleep. I've said it a million times on here (okay...maybe not a million), but babies are not born with the knowledge of how to put themselves to sleep. They have to be trained, and some are harder than others. Eli=Easy, Miles=Difficult! It took me a lot longer to train Miles than it did with Eli, but it was well worth it, as Miles is an awesome sleeper. 

It's never too late to start baby boot camp!

http://www.thesunnysideupblog.com/2010/07/baby-boot-camp.html

Another Post on Sleep Training...

I had a reader comment on the last post and thought I'd share what she wrote:

"Good tips. I agree with A LOT of what BW says, but I think it's important for people to know there are definitely some babies who adapt to the BW technique right away and some don't. Now...having said that I think you MUST keep trying regardless but not all babies are easy peasy when it comes to sleep training. I would say (as well) for some of us working mommies who must utilize daycare and or outside childcare of whatever kind, they never do things exactly like you ask them and that throws a wrench in sleep training. In my situation (working part time) I do the best I can at home but I know when she's away from me it isn't as scheduled as it is at home and it shows on certain days when her behavior isn't predictable. I guess I say that only to let other mommies out there know that if thats you - it's ok. Do the best you can and if your baby is still waking early from naps and or waking at night - it's ok...it doens't mean you aren't doing GREAT and or that your baby is abnormal...it simply might be circumstantial but if you can't change those circumstances (staying at home vs. working)...then just do the best you can and you and your baby will be fine!"


Lindsy is totally correct! I often write my entries from a stay-at-home mom point of view as that's what I am. I don't mean to leave out the working moms and I know that taking them to daycare or having someone else watch them in your home is completely different than yourself. Please forgive me! 


Unfortunately, I have no experience in putting your baby on a schedule and working a job outside of the home. My advice for you is to do the best you can with what you have! While you are at home on maternity leave, try to get them onto some sort of schedule and definitely enforce the eat-play-sleep routine. When you do return to work, know that the daycare will try their best to follow the schedule, but they are responsible for many little ones, so they won't be able to follow it exactly, and that is OKAY! Your baby will be just fine and happy! It's all about survival! You can still set the night time routine since you will be in charge for that aspect of their day-to-day lives. Do what is best for you and your family! 

Baby Wise Depicted

If you've been following my blog since the beginning, then you know that I am a fan of Baby Wise. If you want your baby to sleep through the night at an early age...READ it!! I get so tired of hearing people say "you're so lucky" in reference to how much my children sleep. Believe me...it took A LOT of work!!

I thought I'd go through some of Baby Wise's main principals and give my two-cents. I will go through the book over the next couple of weeks.

**Did you know that parents have the greatest influence on their children's ability to sleep?? Babies have to be TAUGHT how to sleep. YOU are their teacher!! (Ezzo, 43) Ezzo states that there are several facts that will help you to obtain this.**

• (1) You MUST follow the eat, play, sleep pattern. If you take nothing else out of this book or this entry, do this step!! It is so important that your baby associates eating with waking up and not falling asleep. If your baby is not wide awake when taking in a feeding, they will take in less and wake up more. It's your responsibility to instill this patten into their little bodies. 

• (2) When your baby is fed according to a schedule, (more later) their hunger pattern will stabilize. (Ezzo, 48) Their body will establish a hunger metabolism that is stable and predictable. They will build their sleep around these times. If you feed your baby whenever they want to, they will become confused and will not develop a routine at all. NOTE: It does not state anywhere in the book to starve your baby. If you are trying to work on a routine, but your baby is starving an hour earlier, then feed him/her. You should never not feed your baby, but babies learn quickly, and if they are given the option to eat every time they cry, they will take advantage of that.  If your baby cries before the 3 hour mark, test all your options before offering him milk first. Will he be smoothed by a pacifier? What about your finger? What about walking him around or just talking to him? If nothing else works and you know he is truly hungry, then by all means FEED him!! 

Eli was an easy baby from day 1. He never cried and pretty much set his own schedule. He was a huge sleeper without me having to train him. Miles came along and started off amazing, but then developed a sensitivity to dairy and all heck broke loose. He was only sleeping for 45 minutes and then would wake up screaming mad. I knew he was still tired as he could barely keep his eyes open when I'd get him out of bed and he'd fall back to sleep in my arms for an hour. It took several weeks to get him trained. It was exhausting, both physically and mentally, but I knew that he had to learn. He went from sleeping 45 minutes and waking up screaming mad, to sleeping 2-3 hours and waking up as happy as can be. He started sleeping longer at night as well. He is on a 4 hour schedule and wakes up almost on the dot to eat. He knows that when he wakes up, he eats. (except for his last feeding of the night in which he goes straight to bed). I don't believe that some babies just aren't sleepers. Believe me, if you were around when Miles was about 3/4 weeks old, you would never believe that he is the sleeper he is now. It takes time and patience. Be strong... you can do it!  You will be thrilled when your child is sleeping 8+ hours at 8 weeks! It is possible!! 

Schedules

I am BIG on schedules. Maybe it is the teacher in me or maybe it is my type A personality, but I whole heartily believe in having a schedule for your little one(s) and sticking to it as best you can.

With both Eli and Miles the nurses in the hospital put them on a 3 hour schedule from the get-go. They would come in every 3 hours to remind me it was time to feed so when we came home I always continued on that same schedule. Now, I should state that if my baby were to act hungry before the 3 hours I would not deprive them of food and would of course feed them, but that was rarely the case. Just because a baby cries does not automatically mean they are hungry. Sometimes Miles would get fussy around 2.5, but would be perfectly happy if I gave him the pacifier for 30 more minutes. If the pacifier didn't soothe him and he attacked my finger, then I would go ahead and feed him as I knew he really was hungry. This helps establish the clock in their little bodies. As I've mentioned before, I also did the eat-wake-sleep routine, which I also believe in. You want your little one to take in a FULL feeding and they can't do that if they are falling asleep while eating. If they just get a snack, then they are going to wake up sooner and want to eat again. They will also wake up more during the night.

Anyway.. back to the schedule. I think a schedule produces happy babies! Both my boys are so happy and a big part of this I believe is because they know what to expect and feel safe. (not to say that babies who aren't on a schedule aren't happy). Don't get me wrong...I do not follow the clock by the minute, but try to stay around the same timeframe. This is easy for me for several reasons. (1) I stay at home (2) We still haven't met a whole lot of people in Lexington so I don't have a lot of play dates lined up, etc (3) It doesn't bother me to not leave the house for an entire day (as long as it isn't for a week straight)

Here is what a typical day looks like for us:

7:00 Miles is awake and eats then has play time
7:30-8 Big brother joins us
The rest of the morning is spent playing, a little school time, snack time, outdoor time (weather permitting) running errands.
9:30 (or so) Miles will take a nap if we are home. Most days I try to be home, but if I need to run errands or want to take Eli to the park I always go in the morning. Miles will sleep in his stroller or in the car, and is perfectly happy with that
11:00 Miles wakes up and eats again...then play time
12:00 Eli eat his lunch and then we play really hard until naptime!
1:00 Both boys go down for a nap (this is when I do everything around the house that needs to be done such as laundry, cleaning, prep for dinner, blog, etc) I NEVER miss this nap!! This is their longest nap of the day and if they do not get it, then I end up with 2 VERY grouchy babies for the rest of the day and as a result, do not sleep good that night
3:00 Miles is up and eats again followed by playtime
4:00/4:30 Eli wakes up and usually has a small snack. Followed my more play time!
5:30/6:00 Daddy comes home!!!! YIPPEEE!!!
6:00 Eat dinner
7:00 Start Miles bedtime routine. Miles eats and goes right down to bed
7:30 Begin our night time routine with Eli. Bath, Book, comes back downstairs and drinks some milk while watching a show
8:00 Eli goes to bed!

Whew!!

As I mentioned, the times listed are estimated.

There are nights that Eli is not always in bed at 8 and now that he is older, he can go without a nap and be okay. But because I am home with them ALL DAY long, I need those few hours at night to myself. I love to sit on the couch with a good book or snuggled up to Ryan watching our favorite shows. I am so thankful to have the opportunity to stay at home, but it isn't easy. There are days when I get so tired of cleaning up spills, changing diapers, folding laundry, cooking dinner, etc... so I need those few hours without being "mommy!" If I didn't have that downtime each night then I'm not sure I could make it through the days. So, having early bed times is a must have for me!

Do what works for you. I know that not everyone has the luxury of staying at home so you are not able to stick to a schedule. If that is your situation then I would at least stick to a nigh time schedule when you are in control.

Some of you might have more of a social life than we do (haha) so you are not home to give naps. That is fine as well, but I would suggest having one time during the day that you are home and can give naps

Having a nigh time routine is very important to start from the beginning. (well...I usually start once they are a few months). By doing the same thing every night (such as bath, bottle, book) your baby will know what is about to take place and will go to sleep easier and nothing is better than a baby who goes to sleep easily and stays asleep!

Some Baby Wise Questions

Yippee! I had some great questions from a blog reader and I am more than happy to answer!!

For people who have not read Baby Wise, there is a misconception that the book says some where not to feed your baby except when she/he is due. But, in the book, it states OVER and OVER if your baby is hungry, then feed him or her! There is a difference between a hungry baby and a baby who maybe is just using his mom/bottle as a pacifier to fall asleep.

Here are the questions I was asked: (my answers are in red)

1) How long do you let a baby cry-it-out? Is there are period where it is too long?
Great question! Every baby is going to be different. The book says up to 45 minutes, but I've personally never had to do it that long. If you start young, babies learn very quickly. With Miles, I would time when I put him down to when he would stop crying and it was always 8 minutes exactly! Those 8 minutes I would do other things around the house so I didn't have to listen to him cry. It is never easy, but I knew he wasn't hungry, didn't have a dirty diaper, and was just furious that I put him down out of my cozy arms! The longest I ever let him cry it out was 20 minutes. Like I said, I didn't follow the book to a T. As a mom, you will be able to distinguish between the cries. Even in the book it says to go and pick your child up if you think there is something wrong. Maybe there is a burp or has some gas. It's up to the parent to make that decision, but there were times when I would go in and rub his back or pick him up and walk him around the room for a few minutes. After a few weeks, he stopped crying at all when I laid him down to sleep and is out within a few minutes. I know there is a big debate on CIO and some mom's feel it is cruel. To each their own. I never felt like it was cruel as I knew he was perfectly fine...just spoiled and wanted to be held! 


Some people co-sleep and if that is what works for your family then that is great! Ryan and I never wanted to bring our children to bed because we feel as though they should be sleeping in their own bed. Plus, we knew it would be hard to break once they got used to it. I can't imagine having my kids in bed with me, but I know there are parents who can't imagine not having them in bed. I like my bed to myself! (well...and Ryan of course!) 


Obviously you have to do what works for your family. Not every baby is a "text-book" case. As the parent, you are the ONLY one, who knows exactly what your child needs! Do what feels right! You will know! 


 2) What do you do when your baby is sick and wakes in the night? How does one not break the trained sleep habit, while tending to the baby's needs?
If you have a sick baby then of course you do whatever it takes to soothe them. There is nothing in the book that says ignore a sick child. If they wake in the night then I go in to see what the problem is. If they need to be rocked then I rock them. If they need to be walked around the room until they fall back to sleep, then that is what I do. 


You will not ruin all of your hard work by tending to those needs when they are sick. Your baby will return to his normal routine once he is back to feeling himself. There have been times when Eli has been very sick and wakes in the middle of the night and I have just brought him to bed with us. The next night we'd just put him in his bed and he'd sleep just like he always had. 


 3) What do you do about growth spurts? Is there ever a point when the baby genuinely needs nourishment during the night? 
I have never dealt with growth spurts. My boys have never acted more hungry than normal. Miles nurses every 3-3.5 hours and is completely satisfied until his next feeding. If he were to wake up hungry, truly hungry, then I would for sure feed him, just like the book recommends. When he was a little older, but still waking up several times, I would first give him my finger or a paci to see if he was really hungry or just waking up. If he attacked it like a piece of meat, then I knew he was really hungry and I would feed him. If he didn't act interested in the paci at all, then I knew he was just waking up out of habit. But, as the book says over and over, if your baby needs nourishment, (which you will know) then by all means feed him. It doesn't matter how long it has been since the last feeding. Just feed him! 


4)When do you cuddle? 
I cuddle whenever they aren't sleeping! Play time might consist of just sitting in my arms with me reading a book or playing with a toy. I sing to him, talk to him, read to him. When he is awake, he gets complete interaction with me, and more kisses and hugs than I am sure he wants! :-) 


Both Eli and Miles have a smile on their face all day long! They laugh and giggle, and know they are loved, as we are constantly loving on them! 

Teaching your baby to sleep

Do you enjoy sleeping 8+ hours every night? 

Do you enjoy waking up feeling rested?

Wouldn't it be nice to wake up to a happy and rested baby?

If you answered yes to these questions, then you need to buy the book Baby Wise TODAY! I am not one who turns to books for advice. In fact, this was the first and only "advice" type book I've ever owned. I remember being at a bible study while pregnant and doting on a 4 month old little boy. I asked his mom how he was doing at night, and she said to me "he usually sleeps 10-12 hours straight!" WHAT??

She then went on to tell me I need to buy the book Baby Wise. I was a bit skeptical on how a book can make my baby sleep so well, but it sounded very good to me, so I went for it. I think I paid about $8 for it on amazon. Here is the link:

http://www.amazon.com/Becoming-Baby-Wise-Giving-Nighttime/dp/1932740082

It was the BEST $8 I've ever spent!! 

People always say to me "you're so lucky" when they hear how well both of my children sleep. I always just laugh it off, but truthfully, it's not luck people. It's HARD WORK! I trained both of my boys to be excellent sleepers. It was the best thing I did! 

Now, with every book, you have to take some things with a grain of salt. I did not follow the book word by word. However, I did use the basic principle and listened to its great advice. 

The books main idea is this: eat, play, sleep. Remember that!! EAT, PLAY, SLEEP!! 

The baby should always follow that pattern. When Miles wakes up he immediately eats. Then he has play time, and then he will sleep right up to his next feeding. This is important because if I fed him when he was sleepy, he would not get a full feeding, therefore only "snacking" and he would wake up during the night due to being hungry. Your baby needs to get all of his calories during the daytime, so he won't bother you at night. 

With Eli, he was the PERFECT baby! He has been a sleeper since day 1 and truthfully, required very little training. Other than the eat, play, sleep... he pretty much put himself on a schedule. 

Miles, on the other hand, was a different story. He had to be trained. It was hard work...exhausting, but I did it and now he is an excellent sleeper just like his brother! 

I will post later on how important sleep training is and setting a schedule, but just wanted to post a short summary on this book so that if you are expecting you can buy this book now before the baby arrives! 

I PROMISE you will thank me later!!