Some Baby Wise Questions

Yippee! I had some great questions from a blog reader and I am more than happy to answer!!

For people who have not read Baby Wise, there is a misconception that the book says some where not to feed your baby except when she/he is due. But, in the book, it states OVER and OVER if your baby is hungry, then feed him or her! There is a difference between a hungry baby and a baby who maybe is just using his mom/bottle as a pacifier to fall asleep.

Here are the questions I was asked: (my answers are in red)

1) How long do you let a baby cry-it-out? Is there are period where it is too long?
Great question! Every baby is going to be different. The book says up to 45 minutes, but I've personally never had to do it that long. If you start young, babies learn very quickly. With Miles, I would time when I put him down to when he would stop crying and it was always 8 minutes exactly! Those 8 minutes I would do other things around the house so I didn't have to listen to him cry. It is never easy, but I knew he wasn't hungry, didn't have a dirty diaper, and was just furious that I put him down out of my cozy arms! The longest I ever let him cry it out was 20 minutes. Like I said, I didn't follow the book to a T. As a mom, you will be able to distinguish between the cries. Even in the book it says to go and pick your child up if you think there is something wrong. Maybe there is a burp or has some gas. It's up to the parent to make that decision, but there were times when I would go in and rub his back or pick him up and walk him around the room for a few minutes. After a few weeks, he stopped crying at all when I laid him down to sleep and is out within a few minutes. I know there is a big debate on CIO and some mom's feel it is cruel. To each their own. I never felt like it was cruel as I knew he was perfectly fine...just spoiled and wanted to be held! 


Some people co-sleep and if that is what works for your family then that is great! Ryan and I never wanted to bring our children to bed because we feel as though they should be sleeping in their own bed. Plus, we knew it would be hard to break once they got used to it. I can't imagine having my kids in bed with me, but I know there are parents who can't imagine not having them in bed. I like my bed to myself! (well...and Ryan of course!) 


Obviously you have to do what works for your family. Not every baby is a "text-book" case. As the parent, you are the ONLY one, who knows exactly what your child needs! Do what feels right! You will know! 


 2) What do you do when your baby is sick and wakes in the night? How does one not break the trained sleep habit, while tending to the baby's needs?
If you have a sick baby then of course you do whatever it takes to soothe them. There is nothing in the book that says ignore a sick child. If they wake in the night then I go in to see what the problem is. If they need to be rocked then I rock them. If they need to be walked around the room until they fall back to sleep, then that is what I do. 


You will not ruin all of your hard work by tending to those needs when they are sick. Your baby will return to his normal routine once he is back to feeling himself. There have been times when Eli has been very sick and wakes in the middle of the night and I have just brought him to bed with us. The next night we'd just put him in his bed and he'd sleep just like he always had. 


 3) What do you do about growth spurts? Is there ever a point when the baby genuinely needs nourishment during the night? 
I have never dealt with growth spurts. My boys have never acted more hungry than normal. Miles nurses every 3-3.5 hours and is completely satisfied until his next feeding. If he were to wake up hungry, truly hungry, then I would for sure feed him, just like the book recommends. When he was a little older, but still waking up several times, I would first give him my finger or a paci to see if he was really hungry or just waking up. If he attacked it like a piece of meat, then I knew he was really hungry and I would feed him. If he didn't act interested in the paci at all, then I knew he was just waking up out of habit. But, as the book says over and over, if your baby needs nourishment, (which you will know) then by all means feed him. It doesn't matter how long it has been since the last feeding. Just feed him! 


4)When do you cuddle? 
I cuddle whenever they aren't sleeping! Play time might consist of just sitting in my arms with me reading a book or playing with a toy. I sing to him, talk to him, read to him. When he is awake, he gets complete interaction with me, and more kisses and hugs than I am sure he wants! :-) 


Both Eli and Miles have a smile on their face all day long! They laugh and giggle, and know they are loved, as we are constantly loving on them!